Someday.

Someday. I can't contain this passion inside of me. I have been reading the book by Robert Greene entitled, "Mastery," and wow... all I can say is wow. It is such a wonder on how one book can give me so much profound knowledge and understanding.

My mind is racing with thoughts and dreams of the future. I am filled with tears with the knowledge that my passion has come back to me. Ever since my brother died 3 years ago, I felt different. As if my world changed and that everything in my life had no meaning... pointless.

Bereavement at it's finest, you may say. Many would have suggested that I should have took another year off from medical school to relieve oneself from the trauma and depression but the agony of not doing anything and the thought of not distracting myself from my grief was unbearable. So, I entered medical school even if I was in deep bereavement, which I have hidden so well with a poker face for years.

School was a routine, just to get by and I lost my vision, mission and my passion for my work. I lost sight of my goal and you may say... yes, I was indeed lost. Many asked me how I persevered, in an atmosphere where the competition is tough, where you do not know who your real friends are and where you must be cautious to trust who.... I guess, what gave me the strength was that I knew in my heart that becoming a doctor is my life's task, my calling, my vocation, my greatest achievement in my life, and my life's sole purpose.

The Line of Uncertainty and The Point of No Return.

I've been away for a very long time and for my readers, I apologize for that. It's just that I have been having a very emotional and rough path these days, these weeks, these months and these years.

What am I saying?

I am saying that I am undergoing a transformation which entails a lot of thinking, medication and internal peace. I am at the stage of my life right now where I am at the line of uncertainty but I have already crossed the point of no return.

I don't know if anyone has experienced what I am saying so let me further elaborate it.

Food for Thought

"Let go of the disappointments and setbacks in your life and hang on to the promises of God for your future."

Enjoy the Moment with American Idol.

I feel refreshed.

With all that stress in my neck, I really needed that break last night.

Enjoyed the American Idol Live Tour with my family courtesy of my brother, who got Patron passes from his job. He works for History Channel and I am so enjoying the perks that comes with his job.

I'm so proud of my brother for his accomplishments :)

Even if I needed to study, I chose to support him and to cherish the family bonding.

Medical school is not just about studying, you know.

There can be life aside from Med school, if only you have mastered the art of time management in your pre-medical years.

I KNOW I PAID THE PRICE BEFORE ENTERING.

I had one tough pre-med course.

Many witnessed that. 

Haha.

First Day High

Just arrived few hours ago from school, and for some weird reasons I feel like writing. I'm having a lot of positive energy. Uhuh, it's some first day high madness and it's kinda cool.

I'm in the middle of organizing my schedule and my classes.

Finally, I'm on my third year in medical school. Can you imagine that?

I remembered the days when I was trying to figure out what medical school was all about as I watched the first year students gather in the cafeteria. I couldn't believe that I made it through. I mean with everything that has happened to me, I'm just lucky to have reached this far. My older brother and my grandmother died the summer before I entered medical school so the common scenario back then was hospital, funeral and cemetery. It was depressing.

Unlike others who were preparing themselves for med school, I on the other hand had to be physically and emotionally equipped to survive the academical load. Pity. If only things turned out differently, I would have motivated myself to excel in my subjects. But, alas God had other plans for me. I found my compassion however that summer. I realized that those sad and painful experiences happened for me to develop the gift of empathy, which I know would be important for my medical career.