The Line of Uncertainty and The Point of No Return.

I've been away for a very long time and for my readers, I apologize for that. It's just that I have been having a very emotional and rough path these days, these weeks, these months and these years.

What am I saying?

I am saying that I am undergoing a transformation which entails a lot of thinking, medication and internal peace. I am at the stage of my life right now where I am at the line of uncertainty but I have already crossed the point of no return.

I don't know if anyone has experienced what I am saying so let me further elaborate it.

Food for Thought

"Let go of the disappointments and setbacks in your life and hang on to the promises of God for your future."

My Only Exception

This song pierces my heart to the core.

Just made a few revisions to make the lyrics in prose form, here it goes:

                                                                                                                                                 

When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry as he cursed at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. My mama swore that she would never let herself forget and that was the day that I promised myself I'd never sing of love since it doesn't exist.

Maybe I know, somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts. We've got to find other ways to make it on our own, alone or keep a straight face. I've always lived like this. I kept a comfortable distance and up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness. None of it was ever worth the risk.

I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't let go of what's in front of me here. I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up, which leaves me with some kind of proof that all of this is not a dream.

You are the only exception. You are my only exception.

I'm on my way to believe. I'm on my way in believing.

                                                                                                                                                

Holding on to Fear

Fear is the ability to recognize danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response) but in extreme cases of fear (horror and terror) a freeze or paralysis response is possible as defined by wikipedia.

Imagine that... "in extreme cases of fear, a freeze or paralysis response is possible."

I don't have to ask, since it is given that at one point of your life... you have experienced being afraid of something. As a matter of fact, I also had.

Ever since I could remember, this strange emotion we call fear has been running my life. From the horror of my past to the anxiety of tomorrow, I feel compelled. Not just compelled actually, but something I think that I hold on to. Holding on to fear is my biggest weakness. Maybe not just a weakness but a technique on how to survive.

Everyone does it and we all have our reasons. It may be due to the fact that we have lost something dearly in our lives and come out of that situation, wanting to prevent any similar circumstances to ever happen again. You tell yourself that the pain is cut deep and subconsciously, we do not realize that the response we give to that pain is by burying the hurt inside. At an instant, we shut everyone and everything out in the path similar to the road we deem will yield that lost and we get over-protective, suffocating all the people around us.

Whatever reasons we tell ourselves, the fact remains... fear takes control of the decisions we partake in our lives as a consequence of the experiences we have gathered from life itself.