Soul Searching

Sometimes I wonder, if my life is just meant for this.

Sometimes, I dream that my feet takes me to places.

Places that I never knew existed.

Places that my heart wont dare.

Sometimes I wonder if this is all that life can offer

Sometimes, my mind wonders... as it stands still in awe...

to Places that the heart silently dreams

to Places that the mind slams shut

And reality comes vividly back

Back to where I am

As I wonder on...

....

Is this the thing we call life?

Food for Thought

"Let go of the disappointments and setbacks in your life and hang on to the promises of God for your future."

The Hardest Thing in Life

Let Go of the Pointless Drama

Hilarious.

The funny thing I have realized in life is that it doesn't go according to plan.

You gotta be flexible.

Man, life is hard.

Letters To a Young Poet: Letter Two

Viareggio, near Pisa (Italy)

April 5, 1903

You must pardon me, dear Sir, for waiting until today to gratefully remember your letter of February 24. I have been unwell all this time, not really sick, but oppressed by an influenza-like debility, which has made me incapable of doing anything. And finally, since it just didn't want to improve I came to this southern sea, whose beneficence helped me once before. But I am still not well, writing is difficult, and so you must accept these few lines instead of the letter I would have liked to send.

     

Of course, you must know that every letter of yours will always give me pleasure, and you must be indulgent with the answer, which will perhaps often leave you empty-handed; for ultimately, and precisely in the deepest and most important matters, we are unspeakably alone; and many things must happen, many things must go right, a whole constellation of events must be fulfilled, for one human being to successfully advise or help another.

     

Today I would like to tell you just two more things:

     

Irony: Don't let yourself be controlled by it, especially during uncreative moments. When you are fully creative, try to use it, as one more way to take hold of fife. Used purely, it too is pure, and one needn't be ashamed of it; but if you feel yourself becoming too familiar with it, if you are afraid of this growing familiarity, then turn to great and serious objects, in front of which it becomes small and helpless. Search into the depths of Things: there, irony never descends and when you arrive at the edge of greatness, find out whether this way of perceiving the world arises from a necessity of your being. For under the influence of serious Things it will either fall away from you (if it is something accidental), or else (if it is really innate and belongs to you) it will grow strong, and become a serious tool and take its place among the instruments which you can form your art with.

     

And the second thing I want to tell you today is this:

     

Of all my books, I find only a few indispensable, and two of them are always with me, wherever I am. They are here, by my side: the Bible, and the books of the great Danish poet Jens Peter Jacobsen. Do you know his works? It is easy to find them, since some have been published in Recalm's Universal Library, in a very good translation. Get the little volume of Six Stories by J. P. Jacobsen and his novel Niels Lyhne, and begin with the first story in the for mer, which is cared "Mogens." A whole world will envelop you, the happiness, the abundance, .the inconceivable vastness of a world. Live for a while in these books, learn from them what you feel is worth learning, but most of &U love them. This love will be returned to you thousands upon thousands of times, whatever your life may become - it will, I am sure, go through the whole fabric of your being, as one of the most important threads among all the threads of your experiences, disappointments, and joys.

     

If I were to say who has given me the greatest experience of the essence of creativity, its depths and eternity, there are just two names would mention: Jacobsen, that great, great poet, and Auguste Rodin, the sculptor, who is without peer among all artists who are alive today.

     

And all success upon your path!

Yours,

Rainer Maria Rilke

This Life is Yours.

“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” 

― Susan Polis Schutz

A.M.'s thought on Life

‎"When you're young, you feel like life hasn't yet begun, like life is scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays - whenever. But suddenly you're old, and the scheduled life never arrived. I find myself asking, 'Well, then, what was it exactly I was doing with all that time I had before I thought my life would begin?'" from Coupland's Player One.

So Far. So Good.

It's 2:39 AM. I'm in Calbayog city, Samar and for some weird reasons I have this urge to write. It's been so long since I had this feeling when my thoughts are racing and that I just need a pen or a laptop in order to organize them and to have internal peace of having heard or written down the things I hide inside.

The last time I felt this was two years ago when I have conceived this blog site out of boredom because for unfortunate turns of events, I was not able to go to medical school right away.

I used this blog site in order to clear out my thoughts in a big decision on where to go and to apply. I researched on almost all the forum that I could find available on the internet and interviewed my former classmates who were already on their first year in medical school. I was that passionate in finding the right place for me to be in but sadly in the end, I was not even able to pick the medical school of my choice.

If I had my life to live over

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more. I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded. I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace. I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth. I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life. I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband. I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day. I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime. Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle. When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorry's" ... But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back. -Erma Bombeck 

Life. In General.

I'm up right now, wide awake. This is very strange because lately I sleep early to jump-start the lessons for the following day. But not like ordinary nights, this one is very different. I'm awake because of some weird realizations. And one is that I realized that I am no longer a child. 

I mean, yeah I still am (my looks can attest to that. hahaha).... but what I'm trying to pinpoint is the fact that I am not emotionally thinking like a child. Sometimes I feel that I am a 40 year old woman trapped in a 20 year old body. Is this because of the recent events that had happened in my life? Well, just to fill you guys in, my brother died early this year in a vehicular accident, which I am not in the mood to elaborate. I'm not yet over with it to talk about it freely. But I know someday I have to face that harsh reality. As for now, let it be this way. Looking back, maybe so. Maybe my brother did had an effect on why right now, I value everything in my life, especially time. Unlike my peers who are in the stage of socializing and trying new things, I see myself as being too serious with life, being determined to achieve my dreams, sacrificing things in the process.

Sometimes I wonder if this is the right thing to do, or to succumb to the way of the norm.  That is to sit back, relax and enjoy the view. Well, if only they saw what I've seen so far... you'll never know when it will all end. If it ends now, I want to be like my brother who was killed in the process of getting there.

I love you bro.