There's this saying in residency that the hours of duty are long but the days are short. Before you know it, fuck... you're duty again.

EVERY THREE DAYS.

This brings me to the part where all of a sudden you come to a realization that loneliness will always remain a big chunk of your residency life.

Friends and family will just pass you by, while you on the other hand, stuck at the hospital.

EVERY DAY (lest for SKELETAL DUTIES. Hurray holidays and weekend offs).



This then reminded me that early this year, when I least expected it... someone came and filled my lonely life with a whirlwind romance. I honestly thought I would never feel that way again since my last relationship was 5 years ago.

But due to indecisiveness and constant overthinking, we both realized, it wasn't time.


I can't even bring myself to a decent sleep every night (I always find myself sleeping on the couch after binging on netflix because for crying out loud, I need to watch a movie after 36 hours straight of hospital duties).


But....

What surprised me, how that person made me feel. It was magic.

I never felt that feeling with my previous relationships.


Then again, we both have our differences and I guess in God's time, if we are really meant to be, our paths will cross again.


I believe that what's meant for you will always come back when you least expect it.


I just hope when it comes back around, I won't be bombarded with case conferences, research proposals, clinical abstracts and piles of OPD charts waiting to be filled.


I want to be hands-on to this person, give the love he deserves when all the fucked up training is finally done and I can sleep all day long without alarming daily at 5am.


So until then...

Hey loneliness... keep me company.



xoxo