You think you're falling behind because you didn't get the job you want. You feel INSECURE because your friends are leveling up. You blame yourself because you chose the wrong course in college. You wish your parents were wealthy so they could provide you a better life. You ask what's wrong with you for having failed relationships. You self-pity for not getting the things you deserve.
Remember, don't be too hard on yourself.
Sometimes, we compare ourselves to others so much that we overlook our own achievements.
No matter how small or big they are, focus on them and be PROUD.
Don't be embarrassed about your FAILURES. Instead, embrace and learn from them. You own the future.
- -Lifted from M.A. Buendia
"I know you – yes you, are going to get through all of these, and you’re only going to get stronger. I know that in a year’s time, when you read this again, you will be in a better place, and end up a better person. I know it may be slow, it may be painful, it may seem impossible, but you will learn to pick up the pieces and fix your life again.
I know you may feel like a useless, underachieving kid now, but when you read this again you will be living life as a strong, fruitful and awesome person. I know things will get better. I know God is there. I know you will pick yourself up because that is who you are. You are a soldier, you are a warrior, and you are undefeatable. You may be shot, you may be struggling, you may be wounded, but you will keep going. Because I know you are stronger than you think, and you are capable of achieving more than you could ever imagine. I know eventually you will come to realize that everything that you have been through is for a purpose, and that nothing in life – be it good or bad, bitter or sweet, pain or joy, is ever wasted. I know you will find your purpose in life and realise that you are a uniquely significant being of this world. Because there can’t be another you.
I know that no matter how lonely you may feel, there are people out there who love you for who you are."
I notified the resident physician and endorsed my findings. This particular resident was an intern’s monitor and projected himself as “pro-student” and having oriented us during the beginning of the rotation, I thought he, of all people would be more tolerant.
“Ano ‘to?” (What’s this?) He said as he looked at my chart entry. I explained how I did my physical exam, and since I did my clerkship in another institution, the order of my eye exam was not the standard one in the current institution.
I apologized and explained that I was confused with the order of the eye exam, but I thought as long as it was complete, it would not be that of an issue. I believed that we settled the matter then, but when he learned I used a fine print instead of the Snellen chart to check the visual acuity, he launched into a full tirade.
“Saang school ka ba graduate?” (What school did you graduate from?) He asked loudly, while we were in front of the patient and his family. He crushed out my entries.
I was aware of the particular culture in certain institutions that medical school of origin was a big deal, such that interns are judged based on where they came from. It would have not been a problem if I came from one of the top schools like University of Santo Tomas or Cebu Institute of Medicine, but I came from a modest medical school Remedios Trinidad Romualdez Medical Foundation in Tacloban. I have gotten used to people replying with, “Saan yun?” (Where’s that?). And then I had to explain where my Alma Mater was. I thought it was offensive to me why I needed to explain where I came from, I mean it is not my fault I was born in Leyte and I chose to go to school there, in fact I am proud that I am Waraynon. It was certainly nobody’s business to embarrass me by looking down on my credentials while in front of the patient and his family. The family member looked away, sensing the tension.
“Mas magaling pa sa iyo ang mga third year dito!” (Third year students here are better than you!) He said.
I was trying to hold my composure, and still tried to assist him while he was examining the patient. My vision was starting to cloud. I have very shallow tears, I tried not to blink because I was afraid my tears would fall directly to the patient’s face.
Before we were done, I curiously checked the findings he scribbled on the chart particularly the visual acuity. It turned out my findings which he crushed out were exactly the ones he wrote on the chart. It was one of those instances when I experienced bullying in the medical setting as a novice. It would not be the last.
Different forms.
Abuse comes in different forms. It could be verbal, negligence, or unjust treatment or unreasonably long hours. It is as old as the medical profession itself. People have gotten so used to it that it sometimes feels like the “norm.”
Some of my friends who took their internship in different institutions in Manila experienced being “runners” and personal servants of some of their seniors. Some interns were assigned to make coffee, some clerks designated as the “takeout person” or ones assigned to bring the bag/s of their senior while the senior strutted like a fashion model.
There is a fine line between doing a few favors and being a compete personal slave. I don’t mind holding the door open or making coffee for someone now and then, but when the tasks are not training related or nothing remotely geared towards improving one’s medical skills, then we have a problem.
As a clerk, a male surgeon once refused to be assisted by me and wanted a “pretty female clerk” (his words) who could do surgery with him all day in the Operating Room. At the end of the day, we felt sorry for our petite female colleague who had to retract all day at three nephrectomies just because she was a pretty female. The jokes and vague sexual innuendos are another thing. Hospitals have advocacies on gender sensitivity and sexual harassment, but somehow the practice is still thriving.
When Tables Turn
In the private institution where I had my clerkship, we clerks did majority of the work because interns have protected time of five hours for their board review, and when we get patients in the Emergency Room, we clerks do the history and primary intervention first before we endorse to our interns.
Since I had my internship in a large public teaching hospital, I never had the chance to experience being a “senior” because no such distinction existed between roles of clerks and interns. Only during the time when I became a resident did I experience being in a position of authority.
I remember that incident in the Emergency Room of my Ophtha rotation, and I realized every resident physician who work closely with interns and clerks actually have a choice: they can continue to perpetuate that culture or they can choose to stop the culture of bullying.
Being in a training institution meant we had an obligation to teach, rather than berate juniors when they make mistakes which is expected in the learning curve.
Far-Reaching Consequences
The consequences are not limited to the aspiring doctors who, sadly take the brunt of the abuse. These would-be doctors experience depression, feelings of inferiority, and possibly lead to more serious consequences like quitting the training program and even suicides in severe cases.
Patients also become the unwitting ultimate victims. The quality of care becomes compromised as clerks, interns, and residents focus more on avoiding the wrath of their seniors, rather than providing the utmost care. I remember a certain Emergency Medicine resident who gets severely agitated and rude when there are many patients for admission, that the interns would spend time convincing the relatives of patients to just transfer to another hospital. Sadly, some of these patients had nowhere else to go because of poverty, and in the end some do not make it at all.
As a Pathology resident now, I was surprised how other specialties also bully their way in the laboratory. Some choose not to follow the policy of 24 hours’ notice for frozen sections, which require Pathology consultants to read the slides and thus need to be properly scheduled. Some just operate on their patient and decide at a moment’s notice, which requires a written explanation by policy but such is a rule that some surgeons choose to ignore. Several times, residents of other specialties would barge in the cutting room while we are dissecting to demand that we prioritize their particular case as if we were their employees or that other cases deserved any less of our full attention. Newsflash: we are all Medical Officers- same position, different department.
Even the menial task of providing complete information on the Surgical Pathology form has a lot of benefit for the patient, which unfortunately some fail to give. I once received a modified radical mastectomy specimen which had only one phrase written on the history. I processed the specimen as usual but when I examined it microscopically, there were only fibrous tissue and very scant foci of tumor cells. My consultant had me repeat the sections of the breast thinking that I just missed the lesion but the other possibility was that the patient probably had chemotherapy beforehand which could help explain the altered morphology.
I tried contacting the surgeon to no avail. I visited the General Surgery office with a written letter inquiring about the patient’s history, but they provided no response. I went to the ward to try to see the patient and the chart but she was already discharged. Finally, I personally went to the Medical Records and dug through the bulk of files to retrieve the chart and found what I was looking for, the line that said:
“History of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, status post 6 cycles of chemotherapy (2016).” It was all I needed and was able to sign-out the case. The morphology was altered because she had already undergone treatment and had responded well- there was only microscopic tumor foci left and all the margins were clear. Just like that, our final diagnosis hit the mark.
I was disappointed that because of the lack of information given, the patient had to wait for a longer period before we could sign out the case. Had I not investigated further, the case would have dragged on. Perhaps the surgeon thought it was only their job that mattered, when it is the pathologist who will give the final anatomic diagnosis on what the lesion is and ascertain if they had adequately treated the patient.
No doubt doctors are intelligent people, but what escapes me is how we never realize how much of a disservice we are doing to patients by bullying juniors or fellow doctors, thinking that one specialty is more superior than another. The lack of respect ultimately results in delay of patient diagnosis or inadequate treatment, something all of us should avoid at all costs. It also goes against the principle of teamwork of all members of the health care team. Lastly, let me echo the words of one of our mentors: “We all stand on the shoulders of those who came before us.” Let that be a reminder of the responsibility we have to train the younger generation of doctors and uplift the medical profession.
- Lifted from Thad Hinunangan
Thank you for wonderful friends like you, Kaye. Now, I'm okay :)
1 MONTH BEFORE THE BOARD EXAMS PART TWO!
And yes, I'm not at all ashamed that I'm taking it twice.
For the world to know that I'm never giving up. :)
How to Get into Medical School by Howcast :)
MD Plus
By: Michael Tan
PINOY KASI, INQUIRER
Last updated 02:42am (Mla time) 12/14/2007
The title I really wanted for today’s column was “The Once and Future Doctor,” but because my column is horizontally challenged, space-wise, the title always has to be short.
I’m writing about a bold innovation at Ateneo de Manila University’s new medical school, formally known as the Ateneo School of Medicine and Public Health, or ASMPH. They took in its first batch of medical students last June, and in a few years, they will be the first medical students to graduate from a Filipino medical school with two degrees: an MD (Doctor of Medicine) and an MM (Master of Management).
People expect medical schools to produce graduates who will excel as clinicians, meaning graduates practicing medicine in a clinic or hospital setting. The ASMPH hopes to do that, and more. All this goes back to years of planning, starting with the dreams of Dr. Alfredo Bengzon, the ASMPH dean, who assembled a small think-tank to work on his vision. “I want a medical school,” he would keep reiterating, “that will produce graduates who excel as clinicians, as administrators and as public health experts.”
It’s not surprising that such a vision would come from Dr. Bengzon, given his own background and experiences. His specialization is neurology, one of the most complicated medical fields. Later, working with The Medical City, he went on to get a Master’s in Business Administration. Eventually, he became Ateneo’s vice president for Professional Schools, expanding the MBA program to include two postgraduate degrees specifically targeting health professionals.
Under the Aquino presidency, Dr. Bengzon served as health secretary, which exposed him to the country’s many daunting public health problems. His government service wasn’t limited to health; when the negotiations around the US bases in the country began, he was appointed head of the Philippine panel, not an easy task. Dr. Bengzon knows what he’s talking about when he says health is economic and social and political.
Stateside
The idea of medical schools offering two degrees is not new, at least in the United States. I checked the website of the Association of American Medical Schools and was overwhelmed by the varieties of joint degree programs.
A total of 73 American medical schools offer an MD/MPH (Master in Public Health) program. The University of Pennsylvania, with its famous Wharton School of Business, was the first to offer a joint MD and MBA program in the 1970s. Today, there are 49 American medical schools that offer such dual degrees.
I think it’s significant that Ateneo offers an MM instead of an MBA. An MBA tends to be associated with corporations and for-profit institutions while an MM degree has a broader scope, training people for a wider range of settings -- from the Department of Health to the many international health organizations. Ateneo’s MM should, hopefully, produce someone who is as comfortable in a corporate setting (which is what many hospitals are) dealing with executives, as well as a community, and with some small town’s mayor. The inputs here have come from Dr. Marife Yap, the ASMPH associate dean, who originally came in from community medicine practice. In a way then, Ateneo’s MM is an MBA and an MPH rolled into one. (Really now, working for three degrees simultaneously would have been too much.)
What are the other American joint degree programs? There are 22 medical schools offering an MD/JD program, meaning, graduates will be both physicians and lawyers. We actually have some of these doctor-lawyers (“dokattorneys,” TV host Korina Sanchez calls them) but they get there through a long route: a bachelor’s degree, followed by medical and law schools taken separately, at least over 12 years.
Many of the American medical schools offer an MD with a PhD in a specialized biomedical field (for example, immunology, neuroscience, toxicology). What surprised me though was that 103 of the medical schools now offer an MD with a postgraduate degree in an interdisciplinary field not directly related to biomedicine. Harvard, for example, offers an MD with a PhD to be chosen from three fields: Health Care Policy, History of Science or Medical Anthropology. Case Western University has an Anthropology and Medicine program where medical students can work toward an MA or PhD in urban health, cross-cultural aging, international health or psychological anthropology.
Staying home
The wave of the future in medical schools isn’t just around these dual-degree programs. What we’re seeing here is a distinct trend toward producing a “Doctor Plus,” a physician who goes beyond biomedicine. In many ways though, this is not new, representing a return to what doctors once were: people who could take time to better understand their patients. So, even without a dual-degree program, many American medical schools are emphasizing a more interdisciplinary curriculum even in their regular medical training. The University of California in San Francisco, for example, devotes its 4th year to advanced studies, where students get to pick from medical humanities, the science of medicine, or global and public health.
Disclosure time: Yes, I’ve been part of Dr. Bengzon’s think-tank from the beginning. We work without compensation, usually on weekends and in late evenings, the joy and fulfillment coming from being able to dream with Dr. Bengzon and other visionaries.
No, I have not left the University of the Philippines (yet). At UP’s College of Medicine, I’ve been working with the Department of Community and Family Medicine to find ways to equip our students to deal with the realities of medicine, outside of hospitals. We send students out for a reality check, in the streets, in the “Quiapo Medical Center” (yes, Plaza Miranda with its medicinal plants and amulets) and further afield. We remind them, too, of the importance of understanding why medicines are expensive, of looking into social and political issues from gender inequity to governance (or its lack thereof).
I think we’re doing a fairly good job at UP and ASMPH; in fact, my fear at times is that we might be doing too good a job. Our graduates won’t need to go to nursing school if they want to work overseas; instead, they’ll be very competitive as an “MD plus” when applying for the World Health Organization and other international agencies, as well as American and European hospitals that emphasize cultural competence or the ability to work with people of different ethnicities.
I can only hope that our alternative medical curricula are also strong enough to produce doctors who will be inspired to stay on and serve in the Philippines, partly because of patriotism but also, in a practical way, because they will be less prone to despair. These would be physicians confident in their ability to use the sophisticated technologies of the 21st century, but also mindful of the need to put down their stethoscopes and CT scan reports and return to the patient -- listening, observing and understanding.
The Ultimate question that will be asked from you in your medical interviews is simply this:
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A DOCTOR?
Let me share to you this great insight I have found through days and months of searching the world wide web. I found it in the videos of The College of Medicine of Nova Southeastern University, Florida, USA. Unfortunately, the videos are down.
Luckily for you (and for me, in times of great turmoil and doubt), I have transcribed it and found it in my scribbles while I was preparing for the medical interviews.
Let me share it to you in the words of Dr. Anthony Silvagni, Dean of The College of Medicine of Nova Southeastern University, Florida, USA:
NARRATOR: Why MEDICINE?
Medicine is a very special profession. I actually perceive it as MAGIC.
When you're a doctor, people would entrust you with information and personal data that they will not share with anyone, not their parents, not their spiritual leaders, not their spouses, no one; but they will trust you. And with that trust, they will allow you with hope that you will examine their bodies in the most PROFESSIONAL WAY, looking to help them have a better quality of life and possibly the quantity of life.
In medicine, you get to be the first person to touch a new human being. To deliver a child is so magic and such an opportunity to view. To see that transition, as that child is born into a breathing, living person. You will also get to see death.
In today's world, people do not see the transition. Someone get sick, they go to the hospital, they die and you see them in the funeral homes. Your realization as a DOCTOR is that you will PARTICIPATE in that TRANSITION.
And in that transition, you will see the power and strength of some individuals have in their RELIGIOUS BELIEFS and their understanding of the fact that LIFE IS A CYCLE. With that strength and knowledge that you've gained from those people, you will help others who do not have that power, that strength or that belief and therefore help them through that transition.
All of this makes up the
MAGIC OF MEDICINE.
Hey guys,
I have been getting lots of requests through email and on my message/chat board about giving tips on the medical school interview. Well, I can't really do an extensive one since I'm on a strict structured board review schedule, but for the sake of the new year, here's a basic tip. Hope it helps! And, hopefully when I pass the boards by March (please please please, please Oh God.), I can start writing in full again.
For now, bear with me. Please and Thank you.
I have gathered and compiled the following from various internet sources:
- Be “well lopsided.” Try to be very strong in a few areas, rather than superficially involved in many. You should have experiences in leadership, research, and service, but certain cornerstones – such as being a varsity athlete or leading a major campus organization – will stand out, and could even make up for lower MCAT scores or GPA.
- Be specific in your secondary. Be sure to tailor your secondary to the school you are applying to, mentioning specific attributes and why those make you a good fit. A generic secondary shows a lack of effort.
- Get prestigious and/or superlative letters of recommendation. It helps if your letter writer is well known, particularly if he/she is from the institution to which you are applying; however, a more personal letter with superlatives (“…among the most intelligent,” “…one of the best students to come through my lab,” etc.) trumps an impersonal letter from an academic celebrity.
- Avoid lying and arrogance. Perhaps this seems obvious, but your written application should be a truthful representation of you and is subject to scrutiny in interviews. For example, if you list cooking as one of your activities, then your interviewer may ask you what you like to cook and how you prepare it. The activities you designate “most important” will likely be covered. Walk the line between being humble and confident when discussing any part of your application.
- Be excited. It is easier for the interviewer to connect with someone that is passionate about something and can talk about it at length. Your passion does not have to be strictly academic – it can be ballroom dancing or writing short stories, provided you are enthusiastic and knowledgeable about it. Be sure that you can articulate the things that you really care about.
- Lifted from The Prospective Doctor
With that said: Kaplan, KevinMD, and TheCompleteUniversityGuide have also written some tips. You can check and click on the links.
"It's okay. I'm gonna stop when I need to stop. I'm gonna feel what I need to feel.And I don't carewhat comes with that or what people would say."